Recent thoughts

Lately I’ve been feeling conflicted about my blog. Part of me has loads of ideas and really wants to put the effort in but the other part of me just isn’t having it. I’ve lost confidence in my photography and in my ability to be engaging, and I can’t really pinpoint why. I think a part of it is just being hyper aware of the rest of the Blogosphere, and almost feeling like I’m not contributing anything meaningful. If I’m not bringing anything unique to the table, is there really any point?

I started drafting a post recently about staying relevant in the blogging community and got about halfway through it before I realised I couldn’t really give that advice. I’d love to pretend that after over four years of blogging I’d nailed my captive audience, but I really haven’t. To really make it in this industry you have to be unapologetically yourself. I see that in all my favourite bloggers, and everyone really smashing it. I like their content because it’s theirs. I could pick it out in a lineup. I could spot them in the street. I don’t feel like anyone could honestly say that about me or my content, and that’s fine, but it’s not where I want to be.

The thing is, I know full well that I can write and I am creative (despite the fact I’m using photos from 2012 in this post). I just landed myself a new job where I spoke at length in my interview about how much passion I have for this little website. And I really do have passion for it. It’s just difficult to keep up with the Joneses when you really aren’t about that. (Yeah, subtle side note: I got a new job and I start on the 12th so hopefully you’ll see a change in my content when I have a little bit more time in the evenings to actually write stuff).

On Instagram nowadays with everyone becoming a carbon copy of the person before, you really have to be different to stand out. And this is also true of blogging. There’s loads of similar posts that have already been written. This post in itself has probably been written a thousand times before. I’m not the first person to struggle with a creative block and I certainly won’t be the last. I can only hope to be discovered by a wider audience who relate to these rambles and want to stick around. But how many loyal readers do we really gain per post? One, two, three? I’m sure even the Zoella’s of the world aren’t gaining hundreds of new loyal followers every time they upload new content.

This isn’t supposed to come across as a pity-party-piece. But somehow this is a post I’m happy writing. I was reading Jemma’s recent diary entry post and it struck me that injecting personality into your blog is easy when you just sit and write about yourself. I spend so long working out how to perfectly craft a post that maybe I’m missing out on the enjoyment of just plain old blogging. I used to write self-indulgent crap on a private Tumblr blog almost daily, and I kinda miss that. I never shared any of it mind you, but it gave me so much peace of mind just having somewhere to put my thoughts.

I don’t really know how to end this (not that it’s really gone anywhere in the first place). I’m sure I’ll be out of this slump soon enough, but I hope it’s more than that. I want to find that fire and feel that passion I have for content and I want to run with it until I know that I’m the absolute best I can be. And I hope that’s enough.

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